“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.” That was one of my favorite AIM away statuses during college and it still seems to resonate today throughout many phases of life. We all know the song from The Fray “All At Once”. And I am yet again at a point in my life those lyrics are resonating deep.
I walk my dog on an almost daily basis and we keep our path pretty much the same. It is nothing exciting but there is one spot in particular that always gets me thinking. It is this area between houses that seems to go on forever with power lines in it (see below). It is also the place my dog often chooses to stop and do her business, so I have even extra time to contemplate. Sometimes it is illuminated by an amazing sunset or by clouds rolling in for a storm. I’m from Indiana; there is something about flat fields and nature that will always bring soothing to my soul.
Lately though, this scene I pass every day resembles how I feel deep within my soul. It is that time in life where I have decisions to make. Nothing is super bad, in fact I like my life, but I still know deep within my soul that there are decisions that need made. That this state of comfort won’t last forever and that I need to make some decisions to help me get where I want to be long term. Right now my life looking forward feels like this empty field. I know my friends and family will be there with me traveling along, but I have absolutely no idea what else is going to happen.
In small group we have been talking about love languages and something called holy discontent. For the spiritual person holy discontent is the thing you feel God put you on this earth to do…. The thing that gets your blood pumping and gets you up off your seat… the thing you absolutely cannot stand that is going on in the world. For others it is exactly the same thing, but the sense of what the “universe” has placed for the person to achieve.
I recently took a test which helped me figure out what mine are and to people who know me, it is no surprise. The two primary things that get me off my seat are grieving people and community. I absolutely cannot handle when community does not exist and do everything in my power to make it happen. And grieving people make my heart ache.
So why do I bring this up when I’m talking about The Fray, a field, and how there really isn’t anything bad in my life right now? It is because I know deep in my soul that there are changes I need to make to truly start to completely live out who I am and how I am designed. I know that even though things are good right now, I have to make the hard decision to start to make things the best they can be. And that’s hard. Because after all, who truly wants to leave a good and comfortable spot?
But I know without a doubt, I need to. Something harder, but even better, is waiting for me.