Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same…

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.”  That was one of my favorite AIM away statuses during college and it still seems to resonate today throughout many phases of life. We all know the song from The Fray “All At Once”. And I am yet again at a point in my life those lyrics are resonating deep. 

I walk my dog on an almost daily basis and we keep our path pretty much the same. It is nothing exciting but there is one spot in particular that always gets me thinking. It is this area between houses that seems to go on forever with power lines in it (see below). It is also the place my dog often chooses to stop and do her business, so I have even extra time to contemplate. Sometimes it is illuminated by an amazing sunset or by clouds rolling in for a storm. I’m from Indiana; there is something about flat fields and nature that will always bring soothing to my soul.

unnamed (16)

Lately though, this scene I pass every day resembles how I feel deep within my soul. It is that time in life where I have decisions to make. Nothing is super bad, in fact I like my life, but I still know deep within my soul that there are decisions that need made. That this state of comfort won’t last forever and that I need to make some decisions to help me get where I want to be long term. Right now my life looking forward feels like this empty field. I know my friends and family will be there with me traveling along, but I have absolutely no idea what else is going to happen. 

In small group we have been talking about love languages and something called holy discontent. For the spiritual person holy discontent is the thing you feel God put you on this earth to do…. The thing that gets your blood pumping and gets you up off your seat… the thing you absolutely cannot stand that is going on in the world. For others it is exactly the same thing, but the sense of what the “universe” has placed for the person to achieve.

I recently took a test which helped me figure out what mine are and to people who know me, it is no surprise. The two primary things that get me off my seat are grieving people and community. I absolutely cannot handle when community does not exist and do everything in my power to make it happen. And grieving people make my heart ache.

So why do I bring this up when I’m talking about The Fray, a field, and how there really isn’t anything bad in my life right now? It is because I know deep in my soul that there are changes I need to make to truly start to completely live out who I am and how I am designed. I know that even though things are good right now, I have to make the hard decision to start to make things the best they can be. And that’s hard. Because after all, who truly wants to leave a good and comfortable spot?

But I know without a doubt, I need to. Something harder, but even better, is waiting for me. 

Moving Made Me Realize Just How Blessed I Am

Moving. I hate it. But honestly, who doesn’t? Your life is stirred up for the minimum of a month and everything seems chaotic. And for Type A personalities like myself I start packing at least a month in advance and I want to be unpacked within 12 hours of moving in (and surprisingly often accomplish this) . This will be my 11th move since I was 18. I’m a pro at it. But I still hate it.

With each move there is a mourning. A letting go. Even if it is just 20 miles away I am closing a chapter. A long time ago I wrote in a journal of mine “live in NYC for a year”… it was a bucket list type goal. Well, I didn’t live in NYC for a year, but I have lived in Chicago for 1.5 years. And I’ve loved it. City living isn’t easy. It has challenged me and made me learn a lot about myself. There is a new meaning to “just running to the store”. And I never thought I’d be so good at parallel parking… even in 2 feet of snow.

One of my favorite streets in Ravenswood

I’ve been tucked away in my little Ravenswood/Lincoln Square neighborhood. I know these streets forwards and backwards from the hours I’ve spent walking them. I have a favorite ice cream shop, a favorite neighborhood pub, a favorite house, a favorite Thai restaurant, a favorite Indian restaurant, and a couple of my closest friends just a short walk away. And as I face this move to the suburbs I mourn the loss of what has been home. I know without a doubt I am making the right move, but I still mourn for the comfort of my sweet little apartment with the brick walls and character that only an old city building can have.

As I’ve sifted through my things… as I’ve mourned the loss of the city… as I’ve thought through all the reasons I know moving to the suburbs is the right option I’ve been faced with a strong reality. I am blessed.

Often because of growing up in the U.S. I can lose sight of just how blessed I am. Life gets stressful and it is easy to focus on the stress, but I am trying to focus more on the blessings. I am incredibly lucky to have the ability to move. Even more so, I am blessed to have a roof over my head and a lot of things in this roof. I am blessed to have a job I get to go to every day. I am blessed to have an incredible education. I am blessed to know that I CAN pay my bills.

So as I take this step that is hard, yet so right, I want to step into it know that by reducing costs, reducing commute times, reducing stress, and so many other things I am stepping into a place where I can bless many more others. And as my church steps into what they call the “Celebration of Hope” where we spend 3 weeks focusing on helping both worldwide and locally I am challenged. Challenged to look at the ways I’m using my time, my money, my education, and everything that has been entrusted to me. I want to use all of my blessings to bless others. So, as I take this step into a new season of my life, I’m asking myself “how can I best use my blessings, skills, time, and money to bless others?” I want to pack every box with a purpose. I want to live every second of my life with a purpose. I want to know that in my last breath, I made decisions that allowed me to love and bless others well.  Will you join me on this journey? Can we embrace just how blessed we are together?

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...